by kelligarms | Mar 17, 2017 | Spiritual Growth, Women's Ministry
I’ve been reluctant to post this blog for several reasons. First, it will not be complete. No matter how long it is or how much I say, it will not be the end of the journey where the proof is in the pudding. Second, there are so many opinions about weight loss and healthy living I’m afraid this will just get lost in the cacophony of ideas. I’m also reluctant because I have not arrived. I am in no way setting myself up as an example to follow because I am still learning to practice what I know is truth when it comes to health and diet.
In the previous blog post, we talked about our bodies being a gift from God, which He formed and knitted together while we were still in the womb. Our response to God’s gift should be one of gratitude and awe. Unfortunately, our response is usually one of criticism and disdain for our bodies. If I can learn to see my body in light of the gift and purpose God has given me, I can change my attitude toward the “imperfections” I see when I look in the mirror.
Although my body is a gift from God, once I become His child, my body no longer belongs to me. Romans 12:1 tells me that I am to present my body as a living sacrifice. First Corinthians 6:19-20 tells me that my body is not mine because it is the temple of the Holy Spirit, and, as a result, I am to glorify God with my body.
When I think about the sacrifices offered to God in the Old Testament, I am reminded that the Israelites were commanded to offer their best. They were to choose a lamb without spot or blemish. It couldn’t be lame. It had to be perfect. The final sacrifice was Jesus Christ. A perfect, spotless, sinless lamb Who took on the sin of the world so I might become a child of God. If these are my examples of sacrifices that are acceptable to God, then I must conclude that offering my body as a living sacrifice cannot be an afterthought. I can’t offer God the leftovers of my body. I must take care of my body in order to make it an acceptable sacrifice.
But if my body isn’t perfect, can I still offer it as a living sacrifice to God? The fact is that God is more concerned about the condition of my heart than the condition of my body. In 1 Samuel 16:7, God tells Samuel to not look on the outward appearance when choosing the next king of Israel because “the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” When I read these words, a breathe a sigh of relief. My body doesn’t have to be perfect.
What I have come to understand is that taking care of my body is actually a heart issue. Food is an addiction like no other. We can be addicted to eating it, and we can be addicted to avoiding it. Either way, unlike an addiction to drugs, alcohol, caffeine, etc., we can’t live without it. We must eat. Food can become a stronghold in my life if I don’t surrender it to God. When Satan tempted Eve, he did it with food, and she gave in to the temptation. When Satan tempted Christ in the wilderness, he also used food as his first temptation and moved on to other things when Christ didn’t surrender to the food. I can’t begin to count the number of times I’ve been tempted with food and gave in so Satan didn’t have to move on to the next temptation. I have made it so easy for him!
Galatians 5:16 says, “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” Eating chocolate is definitely a desire of the flesh for me. The same book, same chapter, goes on to list the fruit of the Spirit in verses 22-23. One of those fruits is self-control. This fruit carries the idea of discipline and perseverance. We are disciplined about things we view as important, but being disciplined about something doesn’t mean it takes over your life or becomes an idol in your life. I am disciplined about brushing my teeth every morning and every night, but it doesn’t control my life. Although diet and exercise can easily become idols in my life, if I’m continually surrendering them to God and presenting my body as a living sacrifice, I believe my efforts will be rewarded with a closer walk with Him.
In Lysa TerKuerst’s book Made to Crave, she talks about tying your happy to Jesus. Your happy can’t be tied to the number on the scale or the size of your jeans. If your happy is tied to Jesus, then it won’t be moved by your circumstances because Jesus never changes.
For a more thorough discussion on this topic, I recommend you read Made to Crave.
by kelligarms | Mar 2, 2017 | Book Review
Do not add to his words,
lest he rebuke you and you be found a liar. Proverbs 30:6
In light of this book being released as a movie, I decided to upload a review I wrote of The Shack several years ago when I was teaching at Baptist Bible College. Because of the length of the review, I’ve attached it as a PDF. Though this review does not touch on every issue in the book, it is a good place to begin the discussion. Be warned that this post contains spoilers.
ShackLayoutFinal
by kelligarms | Jan 24, 2017 | Spiritual Growth, Women's Ministry
If your Facebook feed is anything like mine, it has been flooded with advertisements for Daily Burn and sunrise yoga. This time of year brings with it thoughts of resolutions and goals for the new year. This is the time of year when I decide it’s time to change my diet and my body, and I begin comparing my body to the bodies of others.
Of course, I know the bodies on television are not real. I remember when I was around 12 years old, I learned that Vivian Leigh, the actress who played Scarlett O’Hara on Gone with the Wind, had been duck taped to push her breasts together and give her cleavage. I also understand the still pictures in magazines are photoshoped sometimes to the point of disfigurement. But what about my friend whom I meet walking down the hallway at church? I sure wish I looked as good as she does! The truth is, for all I know, she is wearing three layers of Spanx under that pencil skirt. There is no such thing as a perfect body. Think of the person you know whom you would describe as perfect. Maybe she is tall and thin and has gorgeous skin and hair. I promise you she has body image issues just like the rest of us.
Maybe your issue is your body shape, and I don’t mean the extra weight you’re carrying around your middle. I mean the shape of your body. Maybe you are too pear shaped, or you’re too short, or your calves are too big, or your shoulders are too rounded. Maybe you struggle with adult acne. I firmly believe it should be against the laws of nature to have wrinkles and pimples at the same time! Can I get an “amen”? Maybe your teeth are too big or too crooked or too yellow. Maybe your hair is too curly or frizzy or too limp or too the-wrong-color. Maybe you’re more concerned with aging and everything it brings with it: poor eyesight, body aches, or the fact that every time you sneeze, you pee a little. No matter who you are, if you are female, you have struggled with your body.
But the fact is, your body is a gift. God made your body specifically for you. Psalm 139:13 says, “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.” The Psalmist acknowledges that God intentionally put his body together. God formed you and knitted you together while you were still in the womb. This description conjures up painstaking, detailed work. I picture God with head-mounted magnifying glasses working tirelessly on the tedious details of sewing very small parts together.
Have you ever made a gift for someone? Maybe you hand made a card for a family member, or you crocheted a scarf for a friend. Maybe you made an elaborate and time-consuming quilt as a gift for someone. What reaction did you want the recipient to have when he or she saw the gift? What reaction do you have when your child brings you something he made for you? Do you say “you used red, but I wish you had used purple”? Or do you ask, “can I have the one you made for daddy instead?” Just picturing the expression on my daughter’s face if I responded to her gift in that way makes me cringe. And yet, I do it to God everyday. Every time I complain about my curly, frizzy hair, I’m telling God that He made a mistake. When I compare my body to my friend’s body, I’m telling God that He got it wrong. Those times I criticize my nose or my eyes or my thighs, I am expressing ingratitude for the gift God has given me.
The Psalmist had the right idea when he continued in verse 14, “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” I must praise God for the gifts He gives me, including my body. I need to acknowledge that He knows what He’s doing, and He knows what’s best for me.
Not only did God form you the way you are intentionally, but He did it with a purpose and for a purpose. In Jeremiah 1:5-6 God tells Jeremiah, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” God knew what Jeremiah was going to do before Jeremiah was born; therefore, God created Jeremiah with that purpose in mind and gave Jeremiah the tools he would need to accomplish the task. It is the same for me. God knows what purpose my life will serve, and He created me with the right tools for the job. When God asks me to do something, I know that He has already equipped me for that purpose. This knowledge gives me the confidence to take the step of faith required to accomplish His will.
My challenge is the next time I am tempted to criticize my body, I will remember that God intentionally formed me and knit me together. I will take the time to praise Him for my body and my abilities rather than be ungrateful for the gifts He has given me. Will you join me?
(Because this post is not to be used as an excuse for being overweight, in the next blog post we will look at the connection between pursuing weight loss and pursuing godliness.)
by kelligarms | Jan 4, 2017 | Book Review
Whether you are in an eight-hundred-square-foot home or living in a dream house on the lake, contentment is found on the way to the ‘farm,’ not on the ‘farm’ itself. — Joanna Gaines
Chip and Joanna Gaines charmed their way into my heart when Fixer Upper seasons 1 and 2 hit Netflix. I will admit that I binge watched the show, and I think I finished both seasons in one day. I love the way the Gaineses structure and decorate the homes with each specific client in mind, and Joanna’s style and decorating sense absolutely blow me away. But the thing about the show that impresses me the most is the relationship between Chip and Joanna. The way they relate to each other demonstrates how much they care about each other and put each other’s needs first. Part of me wondered if it was all just for show–if they were only behaving that way toward each other for the benefit of the viewers. But after reading The Magnolia Story, I am even more impressed with them as individuals, business owners, a couple, parents, and followers of Christ.
I bought the book on a whim as I was surfing through my kindle store, thinking that I would get to it someday. Little did I know that once I read the introductory chapter, I would not be able to put it down. The conversational style of the writing along with the interactions Chip and Joanna have on the page itself were enough to draw me in and make me feel connected to them as a friend more than a reader.
Beyond telling the history of their little family and letting us in on the multiple business ventures on which they have embarked, they share the lessons they have learned along the way. Some lessons have been about business, but most of the lessons learned are about life and living it to the fullest. Joanna gives the credit to God for leading her step by step through the major decisions in her life, and Chip acknowledges that God performs miracles on a daily basis, even when they do not recognize it right away.
My favorite part of the book is a story Joanna tells about recognizing her perfectionism is keeping her and her family from enjoying life. As she comes to this realization, it changes the way she thinks about her home and its purpose. The benefits of this lesson extend beyond her home and family as she tries to incorporate spaces in the homes of her clients for each individual who will live there.
I have never chosen a word of the year for my family, but as we enter 2017, and after hearing Joanna’s heart in this story, my choice for 2017 is “Thrive.” I do not want to simply survive–survive my children’s schooling and their activities, survive these early years of being business owners, survive the ministries of which I get to be a part. I want to thrive in the day-to-day moments and enjoy them. I want to remember them with fondness instead of cringing at the memories.
And, in the interest of full disclosure, I binge watched Fixer Upper on Netflix again after reading the book. It is even better when you feel like you know the stars!
If you can’t find happiness in the ugliness, you’re not going to find it in the beauty, either. — Joanna Gaines
by kelligarms | Dec 28, 2016 | Book Review
I didn’t want happiness at the expense of holiness. I wanted happiness as a part of being a human created to ‘glorify God and enjoy Him forever.’
Have you ever felt guilty because, in spite of all the blessings in your life, you still were not happy? Jennifer Dukes Lee addresses the reasons for our happiness and unhappiness in her new book The Happiness Dare.
We have all heard it said that God does not want us to be happy; He wants us to be holy. This carries the connotation that, if we are happy, then we must not be holy. Lee challenges this idea because while God does want us to be holy, He also intends for us to be happy. Happiness and holiness are not mutually exclusive. She addresses the many ways God rejoices in our happiness and encourages us to look for God, not only in hard and painful times, but also in the pleasures of life. Although we tend to turn to God in our times of pain, He is as present in our pleasures. We simply need to look for Him.
When our happiness increases in manifold, God-honoring ways, we are not being selfish or sinful. The happier we are, the more we are becoming like our Savior.
Lee presents the idea that God created each of us with our own individual happiness style. This happiness style gives us our happiness sweet spot where “earthly pleasure, heavenly joy, and our unique wiring intersect.” While some of us get great joy out of thinking, planning, or reflecting, others of us experience pleasure in a job well done or a selfless act of service. My happiness style, for example, is “thinker,” and my secondary style is “relater.” I primarily like to learn and think and come up with new ideas, but then I like to tell people what I’m learning and share my ideas with others. I also have a smattering of “experiencer,” “doer,” and “giver,” in that order. Do you love to teach? Do you love to serve others by donating your time or your talents? Do you love planning family vacations? Could you spend hours watching your children play at the park? With guidance and practical tools, Lee walks us through discovering our happiness sweet spots and experiencing them to the fullest.
In embracing the gifts, we honor the Giver, because he is the one who gave them.
Lee goes on to address the “happiness hijackers” in our day-to-day lives and gives us strategies to combat them in simple and practical ways. As we take small steps to fight the hindrances to our happiness and to embrace our happiness sweet spots, we will not only gain happiness in our lives, but also grow closer to being the people God created us to be. And the happiness we will experience is not the fake-it-till-you-make-it kind of happiness but true, unhindered happiness which shines for all to see and rubs off on those around us.
It’s true what they say about candles–they lose nothing by lighting another candle. They only add to the light, in a world that feels so dark.
A few days before I read The Happiness Dare, a friend and I were laughing as we discussed our love of cake and the idea that in heaven we will eat cake every day! This made Lee’s final metaphor especially appealing to me. I encourage you to read Lee’s book. Whether you are naturally happy, are afraid to be happy, or do not know how to be happy, The Happiness Dare has something to offer you.
Happiness can be like venom to the enemy of your soul.
