by Kelli Garms | Nov 15, 2019 | Book Review
I found myself at a crossroads. I had spent a couple of years building a business that had produced tremendous personal growth but hadn’t profited much (mainly because I had invested so much in the personal growth, but I digress). As I felt a nudge to pull back from the business, I didn’t know if it was fear of failure or conviction from the Holy Spirit. It was at this pivotal time when I heard about
Malinda Fuller’s book Obedience Over Hustle, and the message cut right through me.
I had two messages competing for my heart. One said,
You are more than just a mom. One day soon your kids are going to leave home, so you should start preparing now to have the life you want when they are gone.
This message was reinforced when my kids would praise me for working hard, and my daughter would claim that she wanted to run her own business when she grows up. This message isn’t bad, and it has felt true and safe for me in this season.
The other message said,
Your kids will be leaving your home soon. You should focus on building memories and experiences that will bring them home again and again after they have their own families. Your business will keep, and God’s timing is perfect.
This message was reinforced when I noticed distance in my marriage and found that I was trying to work while my son played baseball or my daughter cheered at a game. Again, this message isn’t bad, and I found that it was consistently tugging at my heart.
Fuller took me through Scriptures about Eve, Martha, the disciples, Noah, and others that showed me I was choosing hustle because it is easy. It is easy to trust myself. It is easy to check things off my “to do” list. It is easy to follow a process or a plan or a system. It is easy to hustle because the alternative is obedience, and obedience can be hard.
Obedience sometimes means waiting and trusting and monotony and uncertainty. Obedience might mean I have to do something I don’t like, or it could mean I do nothing at all while I wait for God to show me the next step. When things get hard, and I think they aren’t moving fast enough, I default to hustling because I find comfort in the activity. But that isn’t obedience, not because activity is wrong, but because obedience can’t be measured by activity. You and I could be doing the exact same activity, but one of us could be acting in obedience and the other could be acting out of the hustle. I don’t know about you, but I like measurables, which makes obedience hard.
Obedience Over Hustle brought so much clarity to my situation. Through the biblical examples that are discussed in the book, I began to feel peace about my choice. I began to understand that God was calling me to trust Him with my kids AND my business, and I began to open my hands and release the tight grip I was holding, trying to maintain some semblance of control.
I came to realize the choice wasn’t what I thought it was. God wasn’t asking me to choose between my business and my family. He was simply asking me to let go and trust Him. He wasn’t giving me an ultimatum or telling me it is “all or nothing.” He simply wanted me to loosen my grip and put one foot in front of the other while He does the heavy lifting.
This is a book I will read again and again because this conflict is not a “one and done.” The enemy knows my weaknesses, and I know I will need the reminders now and again.
If you have been struggling with your purpose, I encourage you to see what
this book can teach you, and I would love to know your thoughts after you read it.
by Kelli Garms | Nov 8, 2019 | Family, Women's Ministry
I’m kind of nerdy, so I love research. I’ve been spending a lot of time these days researching the brain, and I’ve discovered something fun!
Did you know that daydreaming is good for your brain? It’s true! When you allow your mind to wander, you are using your brain the way it is supposed to be used. You can follow thoughts to their logical conclusions, veer off on rabbit trails, or focus on something you’re processing.
When our bodies are tired, they need to rest, and this often involves sleep or lack of movement. But our minds get tired when we don’t use them. They rest in activity.
Have you ever noticed on days when you sit in front of the TV all day, you are more tired? It is because your mind is bored. So when you think, you are actually resting your mind. God’s ingenuity amazes me!
Let’s daydream today and every day!
by Kelli Garms | Oct 25, 2019 | Family, Spiritual Growth, Women's Ministry
Do you wish your husband was more spiritual? We are at a unique time in our history where, as women, we have access to so many tools to improve our personal walk with the Lord. Unfortunately, sometimes it can lead us to frustration with our husbands if we don’t see them tapping into resources like we are. Here are some things to remember:
- Your expectations for your husband’s spiritual walk aren’t necessarily God’s expectations for him. God doesn’t love us more because of what we do or don’t do. Our spending time with Him is for our benefit; as we spend time in His Word and in prayer, we fall deeper in love with Him, but it doesn’t change His love for us.
- Your husband doesn’t answer to you. He is a grown man who makes his own decisions. Dropping hints, nagging him, or trying to manipulate him into a closer walk with the Lord will very likely have the opposite effect.
- Celebrate the “little things” when you see God working in his life. Is he faithful to church? Does he listen to podcasts or watch youtube videos that discuss spiritual things? Is he a godly father to your children? Ask God to open your eyes to the things He is doing in your husband’s life.
- Most importantly, pray. Pray for your husband, but also pray for yourself. Pray that God would soften your heart, open your eyes, and convict your spirit when things get frustrating. Pray for your husband’s protection, the guarding of his heart, and the shielding of his eyes from everything the enemy is throwing at him.
Remember that your personal walk with the Lord is just that—personal. Your husband’s walk with the Lord is also personal. Wait and watch as God does a marvelous work in you both!
by Kelli Garms | Oct 11, 2019 | Spiritual Growth, Women's Ministry
As I’ve been reading through the Bible this year, I have been struck by how God started the journey of so many great men and women. None of them were able to stay comfortable and complacent and still accomplish what God had in store for them.
- Abraham had to leave his country and set out for an unknown destination.
- Noah, who had never seen rain, had to build an ark and preach about a flood without a single convert.
- Joshua had to take the mantle of leadership after watching how often the Israelites turned on Moses.
- Ruth had to leave her family and country and become a beggar in the land of her enemies.
- Daniel lived in Babylon as a solitary believer.
- Paul, David, John the Baptist, Samson, Esther…. The list goes on and on.
It has made me realize that my desire to stay comfortable is a desire not to be used by God. Ouch!
Will you get uncomfortable with me? Let’s see what God can do when we take that step in faith!
by Kelli Garms | Sep 13, 2019 | Bible Study, Family, Spiritual Growth, Women's Ministry
In last week’s post, I talked about submission in 1 Peter 2 & 3. Lest you think submitting to your husband makes you inferior to him, I wanted to continue in that passage today.
Peter includes only one verse that speaks directly to husbands, but it sure packs a punch! Let’s look at 1 Peter 3:7:
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
Am I right to assume reading that verse got your hackles up?? There are several things in this verse that can rub us the wrong way, but let’s unpack it a bit. I think you’ll find it becomes a comfort to you.
When Peter commands husbands to live with their wives in an understanding way, the idea is to do life together. This isn’t describing a domineering husband with a floor mat of a wife. Doing life together implies a partnership, and partnership implies equality.
The term translated “weaker” in reference to the woman is speaking of physical strength. Whatever you may believe about gender roles, you can’t deny that physical strength lies on the side of the man. This is not a slight to women, however, who are natural nurturers and care givers.
Peter specifically references the equality in God’s eyes when he tells husbands that their wives are “heirs with you of the grace of life.” We can’t be co heirs if we are not equals.
You can submit to authority and still be equal in importance. Christ is not inferior to God, yet He submits to God’s will.
Although you can’t control how your husband responds to you, submitting to your husband is a strong testament to your faith in God.
