Are we commanded to be “nice”? For too long we have allowed an unbelieving world to tell us what it looks like to be a Christian. So what does the Bible actually say about it?
One of my favorite preachers, Voddie Baucham, Jr., is known to point out that, in our society today, “There is an 11th commandment. The 11th commandment is ‘Thou shalt be nice,’ and we don’t believe the other ten.” Unfortunately, this belief has snuck into the church and given Christians an excuse not to call out sin. We are so afraid of offending that we don’t speak truth even though we know that the truth is what sets people free from their captivity to sin (John 8:31-32).
You might be thinking that the Bible tells us to be kind and to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15 & 32) so, of course, we should be nice! But loving truth does not equal watered-down truth. Biblical kindness does not mean affirming or enabling sinful behavior. When Scripture talks about unity, it doesn’t mean unity at the expense of righteousness, but unity through righteousness. While there is no excuse for rudeness, name-calling, or mocking, there is definitely a time to be blunt and direct. Tiptoeing around the truth and leaving room for misunderstanding does not meet the standards of kindness or love set forth in Scripture.
For too long, we have allowed the world to tell us what it means to be a Christian. We have allowed the world to set the rules for the church based on a worldly interpretation of Scripture. While worldly “wisdom” tells us that we shouldn’t hurt the sinner’s feelings, biblical kindness is concerned more with the sinner’s eternal destiny than temporary offense. It isn’t loving to neglect to tell someone the truth that will save his soul; in fact, it is selfish because we care more about our own temporary comfort than his eternity.
No matter where you land on the debate about election versus free will, Scripture is clear that we believe because we hear the Gospel (Romans 10:14). As Christians, it is our job to tell people the truth so they can hear it and believe. Not wanting to step on toes, not being liked, or not wanting to offend are not defensible excuses for not sharing God’s plan for His creation.
Imagine You’re on a Plane…
I want to tweak an illustration I first heard from Ray Comfort in his book, The Way of the Master. Imagine you are on a plane with several other people, and during the emergency instructions you’ve heard a million times, an announcement is added informing everyone that, at some point during the flight, the plane is going to crash. You don’t know when this is going to happen, but you know there will come a time when you will need to bail out of the plane. Because of this knowledge, you don a parachute. This is a unique parachute because you only have to put it on. When it’s time for you to jump, the parachute will do all of the work. You don’t have to pull the ripcord or even build up the courage to take the plunge. All you have to do is wear the parachute.
There are other people on the plane with you, and there is a parachute for each person, but no one else is wearing one. Maybe they didn’t hear the announcement because they tuned it out with all of the others. Maybe they think it isn’t true; it’s just the airline trying to manipulate them. Or maybe they are waiting until it’s necessary to put the parachute on.
You grow concerned for their safety and start asking them why they haven’t put their parachutes on. One woman tells you that the parachute will mess up her hair and ruin her outfit, so she doesn’t want to wear it. Her appearance and reputation are too important to her.
Another passenger points out the fabric of the parachute. It is too itchy and will be uncomfortable. It will rub him the wrong way and make him miserable. He might even end up with a rash that will make others laugh at him.
Still another passenger tells you he doesn’t need the parachute; he can save his own life if the plane goes down. After all, he spends so much time at the gym that he is strong enough to endure anything that might come his way.
The final passenger has plans for this flight. She brought some things to do, and if she puts on the parachute, it will hinder her mobility, and she won’t be able to follow through with her plans.
Everyone heard the announcement that the plane will crash, so you simply put your parachute on and hope that you can show them how much better it would be if they did the same. Perhaps they will simply learn from your example. Then you lean back, close your eyes, and pray the plane will crash soon.
Should You Be Nice?
Hopefully you can see the correlation. Can you see how, at the risk of offending one of these passengers, it is still better to share the truth with them? Your appearance and reputation aren’t worth your life. A little discomfort is a small price to pay to save your life. You can’t be strong enough to save yourself. Changing your lifestyle is worth saving your life even if it means you can’t do the things you have always done before. And simply living by example isn’t enough to show others that they need to make a change.
In the same way, we can’t keep silent about the Gospel because turning to Jesus might ruin someone’s reputation, require them to change their lifestyle, or force them to recognize they can’t save themselves. Relying on lifestyle evangelism in hopes that they will learn from our example isn’t enough, either. We don’t know when, but soon this world will come to an end, and after that, we all face an eternal destination. Hunkering down and simply waiting for it to end, repeating, “even so, come quickly, Lord,” isn’t fulfilling our responsibility.
Eternal Perspective
Everything we say and do must be done with eternity in mind. It doesn’t matter if you offend someone with the Gospel if your goal is to spend eternity right next to her in the presence of God. Affirming someone’s sinful lifestyle is actually unkind because that lifestyle will lead him to eternity apart from God. Because this life is all we know, we often forget this life is a vapor (James 4:14). The decisions I make in this life determine the course of my eternity, and that course can’t be altered at that point. We must take advantage of now!
One of the things that has become abundantly clear to me over the last few years is just how much our grip on eternity, or lack thereof, affects our daily choices and actions. It is easy to say we believe something until the rubber meets the road, and we are forced to live it out. But we will never get a grip on eternity unless we spend time with the creator of eternity. The more time you spend in the Word of God, the greater your knowledge and understanding of Who He is and how He operates. And that gives you confidence to live in light of eternity rather than fearing man.
Christian, stop allowing the world to tell you how you should behave, what you can and cannot say and do, and what the Bible means. When we take the time to read and study the Word for ourselves, we get to know God, and this gives us the courage to speak truth to this lost and dying world.
While it may be beneficial to take personality tests in the business world, what role should they play for the Christian?
The other day, the topic of conversation in my home was personality tests. If you’ve been here for a bit, you’ve probably heard me talk about the enneagram and my experience with it. If this is a new topic to you, you can read all about my journey with the enneagram here. Spoiler alert: Christians should steer clear.
I have always struggled with personality tests and spiritual gifts tests. It has taken me a long time to figure out why they rub me the wrong way. I don’t believe it is a sin to take these tests, but I don’t believe they are particularly productive, especially for a Christian. But before we talk about that, let’s think through the reasons these types of tests are taken.
Personality tests seem to be more common in business circles. Whether it is the Disc Profile, the Meyers-Briggs Indicator, or the enneagram, the goal is to figure out what your strengths and weaknesses are. This makes sense from a business standpoint because if you want your business to succeed, you want to take on those tasks that fall to your strengths and delegate the ones in which you don’t excel. The purpose is success.
Spiritual gifts tests are usually taken in churches or other ministries. We aren’t really given a comprehensive list of spiritual gifts in Scripture, and if you’re a cessationist (you believe some spiritual gifts have ceased to exist), some of those that are given have to be either ignored or redefined. But the goal is to put you in positions of service that best suit your gifts. If you are gifted in hospitality but score very low on administration, you might be better suited to be a greeter at the door than to track the finances of the church. If you want your church to run smoothly, you play to people’s strengths.
Maybe the reason I have struggled with this idea is because, as a missionary kid, I was a “hole plugger”: if there was a hole in any part of our ministry, someone in our family usually plugged it, even if that wasn’t one of our gifts. My dad learned to play the accordion so he could provide accompaniment for the song service when my grandmother was ill and couldn’t play the piano. When there was no one to clean the church, my sisters and I became the church janitors. If the nursery workers didn’t show up one Sunday, it became my job to fill in. And far from being a detriment to my growth, these experiences were the ones that taught me the most. So while I understand the reason churches administer these tests, I don’t see it as essential or even necessary.
The tests box you in
It doesn’t matter which personality test I take, I never like the results. And with most of the tests, there is no option of movement—once a melancholy, always a melancholy. The saying, “the grass is always greener on the other side” has certainly been true for me with each of these tests I’ve taken.
The tests encourage deceit
Maybe it is just my personality (pun intended), but anytime I’ve taken a personality or spiritual gifts test, I know what the “right” answer is to get my desired outcome. The tests lend themselves to deceit because you don’t want to answer truthfully. Instead, you want to give the answer that paints you in the best light for that question. Your answer is also highly influenced by your mood or health that day, which skews the results.
The tests give you an out
As I said before, growing up, my sisters and I were hole pluggers, and it has always been frustrating to me when the same few people in a church are doing all of the jobs. The most common excuse I hear when others won’t volunteer is that it isn’t their gifting, or they aren’t good at that job, or it isn’t their strong suit. Yet Scripture tells us that God is strong in our weakness. We shouldn’t only be doing those jobs that fall in our strengths because then we are doing them in our strength. When we take on jobs or ministries that land squarely in our weaknesses, God is glorified through our work.
The tests don’t solve the problem
We are under the delusion that understanding our personalities or our spiritual gifts will give us confidence to do what God has tasked us to do. It will embolden us because we are “playing to our strengths.” Or we will “be the best version of ourselves.” When the truth is self-knowledge will never lead to Christlikeness. And isn’t that the goal? To become more like Christ, not be the best version of myself? No amount of navel gazing will help me be more like Christ. In fact, introspection is a tool of the enemy because as long as I have my eyes on myself, I don’t have my eyes on Christ.
Confidence comes from knowing God. As we spend time in the Word, getting to know Him—His character, His plans, His desires for us—we start to see how we can be a light in this dark world. As we begin to understand His heart, we grow bolder in our witness and in our prayer life. As we get a glimpse of who we are in light of who He is, we understand how to best serve Him in spite of the results of any man-made test.
When it comes down to it, relying on personality and spiritual gifts tests shows that we do not actually believe in the sufficiency of Scripture. We believe that we need something outside of Scripture, outside of God’s Word, to tell us how to behave, what to do, and who to be.
Let me encourage you to invest your time in reading, studying, and understanding God’s Word rather than taking personality tests. God allows for growth and change; He wants to transform you from the inside out. He values truth and courage; He wants you to step out in faith and take on the tasks He places before you in spite of your weakness. He doesn’t give you an out; your spirit will be restless until you obey. And He does solve your problems because He knows you better than you could ever know yourself, and He knows what will give you peace in this tumultuous world.
There are so many benefits to having your Bible on a device. It is small and easy to carry. It is always with you, so you can read your Bible anywhere. You can have dozens of commentaries and study helps at your fingertips. You can even have multiple translations all in one place. But I still carry my physical Bible to church. I don’t do this out of habit, but I intentionally grab my Bible every time we are heading to worship.
Practical Reasons
There are some practical reasons for carrying my physical Bible to church. As advanced as we get, technology still fails sometimes. It may be due to a low battery, lack of Internet, or just a glitch in an app, but there is always a chance I will not be able to access my Bible on a device.
Also, technology is distracting. Of course, I can put my device in “do not disturb” mode so I’m not receiving notifications from apps on my phone, but I usually have to receive a notification before I remember to shut them off, so I have already been distracted. It is so easy to get sucked into a texting conversation, a twitter thread, or just scrolling through countless posts on Facebook or Instagram, not to mention sending pictures of yourself (yes, even pictures of you sitting in a service at church) through Snapchat (is that app still around?). But I can turn off my ringer, put my device away, and open my Bible for the duration of the message, and those distractions disappear.
Beyond staying focused during the service, I want my kids to see me reading my Bible. When someone is reading on their device, they could really be reading anything. No one around you knows whether you are reading your Bible or the latest dystopian novel to hit the market. Even if I can control myself and pay attention while using my device as my Bible, I don’t know that my kids will have the same self-control. Using a physical Bible eliminates the temptations and sets an example for my kids to follow.
More Complex Reasons
There are also some more complex reasons I carry my physical Bible to church. I remember sitting through religion class one rainy afternoon at the Catholic school I attended overseas (I was exempt from religion class, but it was raining that day, so I had to stay in the classroom). When the teacher handed out the Bibles and told the class which passage they would be reading, I immediately turned to the right page while all of my classmates turned to the table of contents. They were amazed that I knew where to turn. Having my physical Bible in church helps me become familiar with it. I learn where the books are, and when I’ve had a specific Bible long enough, I can even recall on which side of the page a particular verse is found. I have grown very comfortable knowing where each book is even when the pastor chooses a more obscure passage to preach.
Because I take notes in my Bible, be it on sticky notes or in the margins of my journaling Bible, I have my sermon notes available during my personal study and my personal study notes available during the sermon. I have often been pleased to see that the pastor mentions things from the passage that were of particular interest to me during my study time. And I’ve also been able to add notes as he preaches from a marked up, familiar passage.
Having a physical copy of the Scriptures also keeps me aware of context. When I am reading a passage on my phone, I may see one or two verses at once. But when I’m reading a passage in my physical Bible, I can see all of the verses around it. I am aware not only of the immediate context, but also the context that is the entire collection of 66 books. Each passage we study is a small part of a much bigger picture. The very practice of holding the weight of Scripture in my hands versus scrolling through a passage on my phone is a reminder that all of Scripture is the metanarrative of the Bible. There is an overall message supported by each passage I study.
While there is definitely nothing wrong with using the Bible on a device during church, I hope this has given you some things to think about as you walk out the door next Sunday to head to your local service. I would love to know if you have more reasons to add to this list.
Have you ever been on a mountain road? You know the ones where you hold your breath as you go around each curve, just hoping you won’t go off the edge and tumble down the mountain? Nowadays, it is common for those curves to have guardrails. Guardrails won’t stop you if you are coming too fast, but they are a barrier, one more thing for you to hit so you will slow down, bounce off, correct course, and not go off the road.
We often set up guardrails in our lives—a barrier to slow us down and give us a chance to course correct—so we don’t barrel into sin. These guardrails are usually based on our personal experiences, whether we have suffered the consequences of sin, been taught something is wrong, or learned from the mistakes of others.
For example, when it comes to dating, we know the Bible teaches that sex is reserved for the covenant of marriage. In order to protect ourselves and prevent that intimacy before marriage, we might set some rules: don’t spend time alone, don’t kiss, don’t even hold hands. If we follow these rules, we are less likely to end up in bed together. If you felt a conviction to set these rules for yourself in your relationships, then to break them is sin for you.
Another example is alcohol. Scripture tells us not to be drunk with wine. I know there is alot of context to this verse, but it is the verse most often used to support the idea of abstinence from alcohol. I personally do not drink. My grandfather was an alcoholic, so I grew up in a home where there was never a drop of alcohol. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard someone say, “you won’t get drunk if you never take that first drink!” That was a guardrail my parents set in our home and one I’ve set for my family now. I have a personal conviction about this guardrail, so if I were to have a drink of wine with my dinner, for me it would be sin.
Here’s the catch: It is my guardrail, my conviction, so while it would be sin for me, it is not sin for every believer. I can’t hold others to the guardrails I have set for myself.
The guardrails we establish in our lives are good. In most cases, the guardrails are prudent, so it is easy to expect every Christian to implement them. But we can’t hold other Christians to our personal convictions, the ones not given in Scripture. Where there is room for interpretation, we must allow for Christian liberty.
In fact, this is what the Pharisees did. For example, the commandment given by God was to honor the Sabbath and keep it holy. Through the years, rules (guardrails) were put in place to keep the Israelites from breaking that commandment. The rules against working on the Sabbath got so detailed that you could only travel a certain distance, and you could go no further. This would be the equivalent to limiting the number of steps you could take on that day. Over time, these guardrails became the standard instead of the spirit of the Sabbath law. This went so far that the Pharisees attacked Jesus for healing the sick on the Sabbath.
Holding others to a standard we set is legalism. Legalism isn’t speaking the truth of Scripture; it isn’t holding to the “rules” given by Jesus and the apostles; it isn’t dressing modestly, waiting until marriage to have sex, or going to church every week. All of these are clearly stipulated in the Word. Legalism is adding to Scripture and expecting others to abide by our guardrails.
Because our guardrails are based on our personal experiences, we feel very strongly about them. It can feel like a personal affront if someone else doesn’t honor our guardrail. But holding others to our standards instead of God’s standards is sin.
I encourage you to examine your convictions and determine which ones are biblical and which ones are guardrails you have set to protect yourself. You might find you’ve been more legalistic than you thought!
Let me begin by saying the topic of civil disobedience is not a simple topic. On this topic the same arguments can be made for both sides. Our goal in these conversations is not to be right but to be righteous: not to find Scripture that supports our position, but to allow Scripture to inform our position, to see the issue at hand through the lens of God’s Word and take the position that aligns with His will. This is the very reason freedom should be the point upon which we agree.
This post is not an attack on anyone’s personal choice, but it is a commentary on what the government is doing in the current culture and how Christians should respond. Also, I have heard pastors preach sermons like the one I mention in this post across denominational and religious lines, so this is not an attack of a specific pastor, church, or denomination.
I recently listened to yet another sermon on the Christian and civil disobedience which implied we have no reason to rebel at this particular time in history. This sermon left the impression that true Christians will obey the government mandates because they don’t force us to break God’s law. I say it left the impression because in reality, the sermon was vague, as are many. These sermons tend to get muddy because they draw on biblical examples of civil disobedience while at the same time stating that civil disobedience is wrong.
Principles for Civil Disobedience
The following principles are generally listed as the rule of thumb for the believer when it comes to civil disobedience. We can rebel if:
The government commands what God forbids, or
The government forbids what God commands.
This seems pretty simple until you realize that much of what we are facing is not explicitly addressed in Scripture. The Bible doesn’t tell us if wearing a mask is a sin or not. The Bible doesn’t mention vaccines. The word “abortion” does not appear in Scripture. And there is certainly no reference to #freedomconvoy2022. But just because something isn’t explicitly mentioned doesn’t mean we can’t apply lessons we learn from biblical accounts.
The Conscience and Civil Disobedience
A popular argument in favor of civil disobedience is the idea of conscience. We will say things like, “that goes against my conscience, so I can’t do it.” It is important to remember that our consciences must be molded and guided by the Word of God. Many will say that there is no room for conscience in this conversation. If your conscience is telling you not to obey the government, then your conscience is wrong because we are told over and over in Scripture that God has placed those in authority, and we are to submit to them (Romans 13:1-7, Titus 3:1, 1 Peter 2:13, etc.). But the truth is that if your conscience has been molded by the Word, if you are spending time with God regularly and are studying the Scriptures, your conscience can play a valuable role in your decision making.
Biblical Examples of Civil Disobedience
Several examples from Scripture are used to show when civil disobedience is appropriate. Usually, these examples are used to show the extreme cases presented. In Exodus 1, Pharaoh orders the killing of all of the male, Jewish babies. The midwives did not comply. In Daniel 3, we read about Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, who were told to worship Nebuchadnezzar’s idol. They did not comply. In Daniel 6, we read the account of Daniel’s decision to pray even though it was against the law. These are all examples of when the government commanded something God had forbidden, or forbade something God had commanded.
Let’s pull these examples into modern day.
The midwives didn’t kill the Jewish baby boys because they understood that life is sacred. Our government wants to use the tax money we are required to pay to fund abortions, thus negating the sanctity of life. This is grounds for civil disobedience.
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego did not bow down to the idol because God forbids idol worship. We are to worship only God (Exodus 20). But idol worship is not limited to carved, golden statues surrounded by a shrine and lit candles. An idol is anything that takes the place of God, anything we trust more than we trust God, anything we fear more than we fear God. Our society has turned Covid and the vaccines into idols. The authorities have destroyed jobs, livelihoods, childhoods, and futures in order to force everyone to bow down. Let me remind you, this is not a statement about your choice but about what the government is doing. The government is pushing us to worship at the altar of Covid to the god of Fauci. This is grounds for civil disobedience.
Daniel broke the law when he prayed to God as he had always done. And he would’ve paid with his life had God not intervened. There is such a thing as an unjust law. It is unjust for parents to lose custody of their children because they choose not to get vaccinated. It is unjust to refuse a life-saving medical procedure because the patient is not vaccinated. It is unjust to force children to spend eight hours a day behind a mask because adults are scared of illness. It is unjust to discharge military personnel who have pledged their lives to protect our freedom because they made the “wrong” medical decision. When we allow unjust laws to go unchallenged, we quickly decline into tyranny and genocide. This is grounds for civil disobedience.
Truth and Fear
Think back to what you know about our own American revolution. It could be argued that England, the authority over America at the time, was not commanding something God forbids or forbidding something God commands. On paper at least, it came down to taxes. Yet no one argues that America should not have fought for her independence because we all know it was about something much deeper than taxes. Much like today, when our conflict is about something much deeper than a mask or a vaccine.
The Bible is clear that Christians are to speak truth and live in truth no matter the consequences. Our current authorities want us to refrain from speaking truth in many areas of life. They want us to lie about the efficacy of masks, about the potential side-effects of vaccines, about the moment life begins, about biology, about “race,” and the list goes on and on. This is grounds for civil disobedience.
Scripture commands us over and over again that we are not to live in fear. The King James Version uses the phrase “fear not” 365 times, but the idea is present in the Word much more often. Our governing authorities want us living in fear. We are to fear Covid, fear our neighbors, fear killing our relatives, fear the loss of our livelihoods, fear not going back to “normal,” fear shortages, etc. This is grounds for civil disobedience.
In the most recent sermon I heard, the preacher made the statement that “the difference between the revolution in England and the revolution in France came down to the presence of Christians.” Yet he implied that Christians should stand down. He claimed that Christians in England kept the revolution from devolving into a bloody massacre, yet he urged Christians now to stay out of the fight.
Our churches should be leading the charge to stand up for truth. When governments are requiring things that fly in the face of truth, it is grounds for civil disobedience.
Do you choose a word for your year? I began choosing a word for my year about 5 or 6 years ago. Before that, I never really understood the point. And, honestly, I don’t think it is the most important thing I can do as I prepare for a new year even now. But for the last several years, I have chosen a word, not as a goal for my life like “success” or “wealth,” but as a focus for my year to make sure I’m pursuing things that are true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and worthy of praise (Phil. 4:8).
For 2021, my word was “bold humility.” I wanted to make sure that, as I shared ideas on social media and in my blog, I was doing it for the right reasons and in the right way. In 2020, my word was “cultivate.” I had just finished reading a book by that title written by Lara Casey and had a strong desire to cultivate relationships and a peaceful atmosphere for my family in our home. Other words I’ve claimed in the past include “undeserving,” “savor,” and “thrive” (this one was chosen our first full year of homeschooling, and I wanted it to be more than surviving).
A couple of important things to point out are 1) I am not trying to “manifest” anything into existence. I’m using the word to make sure I focus on the things I’ve made a priority—my spiritual walk, my family, my relationships. And 2) at any point in the year, my word can change. It is there as a reminder to me, not as a strict, unbending yard stick but as a flexible guideline.
If you come from a New Age background, and manifestation and the law of attraction are stumbling blocks, this may not be the best practice for you. And if you love this idea, but you can’t decide on one word, feel free to choose as many as you want! Maybe you want a different word for different areas of your life. That’s ok. There are no rules.
My word for 2022 is “dwell.” As I read through the Bible in 2021, the word “dwell” jumped off the page for me time and time again. Even my pastor has focused in on it during his sermons. I want to dwell in Scripture this year. I want to dwell in my prayer time. I want to dwell with my family and not be distracted. I want to dwell with the ladies at my church as we grow in Christ together. I want to dwell with my friends from all different circles in my life. To be present—that’s my desire.
If you decide to pick a word for 2022, I’d love to know what it is.
